Body Image and Media

On Facebook, a fellow group member shared something that has forced me to look inward: “I find lately everywhere I turn, messages are telling me I am not a real woman…#doomed..”…this is for her.

My response was that the media has its own agenda and that as a woman, actually, as an individual we should figure out our own agendas and not deviate from it.  What is the media’s agenda?  I don’t know.  After all, men are required to be violent, sexist, racist, and homophobic.  Women are expected to give on-demand blow jobs, make a sandwich and shut up – not necessarily in that order.

The fashion industry coupled with the entertainment industry seems to be geared towards creating a negative body image among the 99%.  Not just that, I have noticed a disturbing trend among non-stereotypically beautiful who now sow hate in their hearts for those that are stereotypically beautiful.  If you cannot accept another person for being beautiful, then how do you expect to love yourself when time wreaks its havoc over all that you held to be true and beautiful?  Coco Rocha is tall, slim, and white – she is beautiful.  Jill Scott is curvy, talented and black – she is beautiful.  Michelle Yeoh is tall, slim, and Chinese – she is also beautiful.  Alicia Keys is curvy, talented and mixed – she is also beautiful.  Sophia Loren is Italian, curvy, 60 and still sexier than most 20-year-olds.

What is your agenda?  Who are you now vs. where you want to be?  Figure out your agenda and work towards it.  One morning, I woke up and decided to be beautiful.  I understood my own beauty was not mirrored in the fashion magazines or on television.  I was told I was too smart to be beautiful.  I decided to cover my mirror and turn my mental headphones to LOUD!  I was now marching to the music of my own inner peace.  I smiled a gap-toothed, coffee-stained smile and declared myself beautiful.

–ND

Friendzone: The Analysis

Quite frankly, nothing reduces fellas to a bunch of whiny, snivelly pansies like being friendzoned.  It is the most unholy of hells for a masculinity.  The concept of a man spreading his precious penis near and far is threatened by being a friend with a woman.

To be quite honest, how many men do you think a woman friendzones a day?  In some cases, quite a few.  Do you have any idea how that would pile up at the end of the week?  How would you feel to know that the woman that you thought was yours is now with someone else because they were offended by being friendzoned?

A woman is not a machine that you deosit kindness until sex falls out

Let me explain the friendzone.  If a woman wants to be a friend, then she just wants to be a friend.  If you want to treat her as your girlfriend and buy things for her, and do things for her, then just remember, YOU wanted to do those things.  How many times have I seen women treat and call a man their husband?  Most times this man in question is just the man.  He is the BOYFRIEND, he has not proposed to you or married you.  And then you get accused (rightfully so) of crowding.

So why is it not true for men?  Not just that, how many men whine that the women they want is often found in the company of a jerk?  (Those exact words out of a Trinidadian man’s mouth).  The same way that I am often advised to not show up a man’s failings so that I can actually keep a man and because it makes his penis shorter, I also advise a man not to show a woman that she is wrong AT THE PRECISE MOMENT THAT SHE IS WRONG!  It makes a vagina dry, it does.  Not just that: women are attracted to strength, not weak losers who cannot muster up the strength and courage to have their own confidence.

Now there is a difference between confidence and douchebag.  One has the image, the other has the substance.  If you have neither, then you get friendzoned.  Have I been clear enough?