How to Attract Women

To be a little honest, I am using the above title as a gimmick.  This is just what happened to me.  So basically, this is how to gain my attention.

Usually when I am walking past all these men they just look me in the eye and wait till I pass before they speak to my back.  Now to be fair, I do have an amazing back view.  But you are not going to gain any favourable attention when speaking to my back. My ears just aren’t built that way.  Seriously.

So yesterday, this young man walks up to me.  He starts by saying this:

“Good morning ma’am.  I would just like to compliment you on the way you always look.  This dress is particularly beautiful on you.”

SWOON right? Now he wasn’t ugly.  And he also wasn’t eye-catchingly handsome.  You want to know who was handsome? The rather buff construction worker who would make eye contact with my shoulder blades.  So anyhow, he continues:

“Here is my card.  Feel free to call me if you would like to spend some time getting to know me.”

Really? I mean, Steve Harvey came out with this book, see.  And then a movie, right? And apparently, these moves were all in there.  EXCEPT! His name and number was written on the back of someone else’s card. A rather ingenuous move on his part, if a lil cheap. (I appreciate cheap in my current situation.  See previous blog entry for further details.

I AM SERIOUS HERE!  The man made me feel like the absolute lady, that I absolutely am,  by calling me ‘ma’am’ and not ‘princess’ or ’empress’ or ‘reds’ or ‘family’.  I think that last one really gets me upset…family? Are we Alabama now? Is incest the new sexy and I didn’t get the memo? I hope not.  Because ‘Family’ gets you perve-zoned in a red-hot minute.  And that will not be pretty.  Think about the children.

So question: was I really treated like a lady? Or was I just a victim of a movie plot?  I really hope not.  I really hope that I met a young, confident man who treated me like a lady.

So, Brotip checklist from a woman:

  • Approach a woman with respect
  • Be willing to take ‘no’ for an answer, but leave her with the option to change her mind
  • Go with confidence, not cockiness
  • She does not owe you anything if you paid her a compliment
  • If she returns the compliment, act graciously.

Now if only, I had told him how well his jeans fit…

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